dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
