Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
