Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
