So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
The adults are the big ones right?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
