turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
