That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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