It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
