Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I am spending my child support on dildos
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
