Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
