How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
you never un-have a 4some
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
