You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
