I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
