i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
