We're facebook friends in real life
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
