Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
