if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
