and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
