My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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