i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
