I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
