I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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