so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
