Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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