oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
They left me at home... I'm a liability
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
