I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
too bad you live with your parents still
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
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