She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i love accidental penises.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
