The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
