I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
