yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Less talking, more tequila
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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