you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
