Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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