3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
