oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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