I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
well I can't set my house on fire every night
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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