Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
