I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
