god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
