can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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