so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
