Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
