so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
