You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
