Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
