just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
