I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
