Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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