I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
