yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
