Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
