thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
