chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
